Letters to my Ex: Owning my body


Early on, I learned that having someone’s attention does not equate to having their respect. A few failed relationships taught me that the hard way. I only wish that I knew it when I was younger. In all honesty, I heard similar sentiments when I was younger but those words never stuck to my heart. Partly because no one ever took the time to discuss healthy relationships. As a consequence, I stumbled as I tried to figure it out.

Rather than write a letter to my ex, I’ve decided to write a letter to myself when I was ending that relationship. Send a few words to soften my heart and encourage me that I'm on the right track. What words did you need to hear in your last relationship?


You made the right decision. Though you hate being the “bad guy,” those feelings of guilt will soon subside. This will not be the first relationship that you end. Nor will it be the last time that you feel pressured to share your body with a man who has not earned the privilege of such intimacy. You will be sought after. You will be chased and desired by many men who enter your life. 

You can be flattered. It’s okay to feel confident when others admire your beauty. Be mindful that their attention or lack thereof does not determine your beauty or worth. It’s important to remember that.  While the intentions of these guys may vary from lust to love, it is your choice to say yes or no. 

Your body is your own. It is a privilege to share such intimacy. You owe nothing to these men. Be mindful and protect what you value. The man who truly loves you will have no desire to pressure or rush you. He will be patient and respect your desire to wait. Give yourself permission to put your feelings first.

You have so much value… don’t give away pieces of you to those who can’t understand your worth. Wait until you’re ready.